"And the greatest of these is Love"

"And the greatest of these is Love"

I was at a wedding today, and during which, I had a conversation with a married woman about Philippines, politics and philistines, got reacquainted with ppl I've not seen in a while, and watched my ex-'ideal' gal get wedded off to a nice bloke. I then went last-minute shopping for their wedding gift. It being a bulky item, I dropped it off at the wedding suite, and accidentally got to see the bride without her 'face' on. In the room were 2 other ladies who got me pondering and making comparisons with other ladies I personally noe. My ride home was thus swamped with thoughts and by the time I got home, I think I was able to actually narrow down my list of (most likely to be unfulfilled) wishes of my future other-half.. knowing me, I'll most likely forget I ever had a list anyway in the end..
i wanted to blog abt women, interior decorating, make-up and weddings today, but I didn't noe how to put the thoughts down in coherent sentences. Plus, I'm late for the wedding dinner! So instead, I shall talk about ... nothing...


*update*

"Let no man tear asunder"

I just want to clarify in the above passage, that ex-'ideal' does not mean that she's in any way defective or inferior. I had a short crush on this gal, Inga, a couple of years back, and I alwiz look back fondly. As all relationships should be - one should alwiz look beyond the facade and dig deeper in order to noe a person better. Bear in mind that these are not major character flaws or any such thing.. ppl are all different, some are more suited to others and not everyone is meant for everyone else. I believe Desmond married HIS ideal woman. She really was the most gorgeous bride.. =) Here's to their future together!

P.S. This update has nothing to do with the fact that Desmond (self-proclaimed 'King of the Internet') noes my site address by heart..

Double-take

Double-take

Since the operation, people have commented that I look different, or the same, or watnot. I've had several theories on why some ppl feel differently, and I've espoused them previously (I think - smtg to do with perceptions). In any case, today's case was the most interesting one by far:

I attended Linna's new Intermediate class for salsa. Upon stepping in and mingling, I noticed Linna already looking at me strangely, not really saying a word yet. It happened that I wound up standing beside her in tht class as the ladies rotated around the circle of guys. I whispered to Mango, the second time she came around, that Linna was giving me strange looks. True enuff, a few partner changes later, Linna suddenly exclaimed "Are you Dax??!" to which I confirmed her animated query. She mentioned smtg along the lines of "No wonder! dances like you, speaks like you, yet it doesn't look like Dax..."

I just found it quite amusing!

How to live everyday

How to live everyday

live every day like it is your last day, because it will be your one and only chance at today! take your time to eat your lunch, and enjoy how it tastes. enjoy the wind and how it feels because you won't feel wind like this again.

that's why i take forever to eat. and shower and do things i enjoy, because i might not be able to enjoy it again.

appreciate everything!

~Ryozan

Outward manifestation of an inward regression

Outward manifestation of an inward regression

Is there a selfish reason behind doing everything? Are we inevitably all about 'me'? Are there actually inherently good people with the purest of intentions? Or is that smtg that we're led to believe?
Take your actions today, look at what you did. There is the outright/overt intention, then there is the underlying intention, and there is the hidden agenda. Do we really have 'pure intentions'?
I think perhaps we're all about satisfying our desires. We do things cos we want to, we give in to ppl cos we have to (cos going against it would be against our interests).
Help - is it really a singular one-way effort to assist?
Offer - do we really offer smtg and not expect any kind of return?
Love - unrequited? love without expectation? so far, i heard only 1 being was able to do it.

Aiyah.. dunno la.. sometimes we just have totally negative views of the world.

Quote of the day:

Quote of the day:

"it's like an ex smoker picking up a cigarette again and booking an appt at the rehab at the same time."

~Mango, on my addiction..

I maintain that i willingly go into it cos of boredom! pure n simple. 'idle hands are the devil's workshop' they say..

Lead us by faith

Lead us by faith

Ah religion.. such a powerful thing. For the cynical, it seems a tool tht certain groups use to manipulate the masses. For the believers, it can mean either of two extremes - our reason for living, or simply a weekly chore or a mimimum requirement.

Today I saw examples of the power of religion. I alwiz question the motives of ppl involved. From my cynical perspective, I can never be sure if ppl actually believe what they are saying. Is it all just some hocus pocus means of deceiving ppl? or is there really salvation waiting for you after you've fulfilled your end of worshipping?

Bush: US probing possible Iran role in September 11 ~ CNA

Bush: US probing possible Iran role in September 11 ~ CNA

Ok, it is me or does it seem as tho the US is becoming the axis of evil themselves? We all noe abt the botched up attempt to eradicate evil in Iraq, and how Bush is the most seemingly inept president we've seen in recent times. Look what he's up to now - taking a stab at Iran. This is the Iran and Iraq that the USA previously played off each other, during that whole conflict some years back. Does Bush see himself as the modern-day political vigilante, out to rid the world of evil and evil-doers without the red cape and underwear?
Let's take a look at a possible underlying motivation:
Iraq, oil-rich. Conversion to a democratic-like state along with a free trade system = good for oil-hungry USA.
Iran, another oil-rich country. From the CIA factbook -

"strategic location on the Persian Gulf and Strait of Hormuz, which are vital maritime pathways for crude oil transport.
Iran's economy is marked by a bloated, inefficient state sector, over reliance on the oil sector, and statist policies that create major distortions throughout".

Guess what the US' possible agenda could be..?

This story was taken of Chris Yeo's blog, the story of David the Brave.
Here's his introduction:

Tuesday, July 06, 2004
My Uncle David

Around May the 10th, I was planning for my trip up to Pulau Aur and to Mersing for diving and stargazing. I wanted to get a map of Mersing town as I had to travel to a part called Tanjong Resang, so my mum directed me to a corner of her room where a pile miscellanous articles were stored.

I did not find the map of Mersing that I was looking for, but chanced upon a plain looking file which I opened out of curiousity. Inside was the story of David the brave. It was about my uncle who passed away when I was very young (17 years ago now), and written by my father. It described how my uncle discovered, fought, and finally succumbed to cancer. I had never known the details about my uncle's death as I was so young then, and never knew that my dad had wrote anything like that. I do remember that he was very well loved and sorely missed. I read the story intently, and put it back exactly as I found it, and did not mention it to anyone as I thought that my father had placed it there for a reason.

A few days later in the car, my father suddenly mentioned that he had chanced upon the story which he wrote 15 years ago. He had forgotten all about it. He said it brought tears to his eyes reading it again. He also said that the day he opened the file happened to be May the 10th, uncle David's death anniversary. I said that I had also chanced upon the file and read the story. That day was Monday, May the 10th.

Intrigued?

My dad had written the story with the intention to publish it somehow for others to read. He asked me to transcribe the typewritten copy, which I have just completed. If you would like to read the story about my Uncle David, you can read it here.
Apologies about the formatting and minor errors. I just simply transcribed everything dumped it into a html file.

My dad will appreciate comments regarding the story. He is thinking of developing it and either making it a newspaper article, a small book or a promotion of hospice work.

posted by chris at 1:22 AM

Life is such that after u bitch and whine, something will come along to make u feel absolutely guilty abt what u've done. And then u try to make up. DO I try to be a better person, or am i just downright rotten without hope of redemption? I doubt if I can act in such a way as Louis or David in the above true story.. since I'm all about me now..

The return of al

The return of al

Our fren has returned. Let us call him Al. After taking a leave of absence for about a year, with the occasional gracing with his presence, he has seemingly returned as if nothing abnormal has occurred. There was a time where both of them were not speaking, except thru their mutual acquaintance. Both fronts were unwilling to give in. It was a time of questioning, a time of uncertainty, a time of recollection. Ultimately, assumptions had to be made and decisions proceeded ahead with. And one was made.

Amidst the questioning (was the decision the right one? was the theory going to hold water? It was indeed a paradigm shift of sorts..), an appeal came through in the form of an IM. The words that appeared seemed unchallenging and was strangely beckoning for normality. He accepted it, albeit with some suspicion, and rightfully so for the fren (Al) was a fren of circumstance..

In the end, the realisation dawned on him after a reunion of sorts. Al hadn't returned with a white flag, he had come to make use of that contact, to further his own base! How backhanded could that be? You may say perhaps that he was being overly-suspicious, even paranoid, but no.. little interest was reserved for his current well-being, having just emerged from an ordeal. No, Al hardly paid any attention to what was even said. How audacious! The fren had returned to re-establishy ties in the hopes of attaining an upperhand.

How easily we can become made use of, how easily these things change. How easily can we turn our backs on whom we once called fren, and just as easily (and with obvious motivation) turn back with a smile.. Disbelief is the word he would use, disbelieving the apparent truth. Unfortunately, it has become the undoubted scripture.

In the news today:

In the news today:
 

"Women strip naked to protest custodial killing in india's northeast"
~Friday Jul 16, 02:53:15 2004 EST
 
A highly unusual protest indeed..

In the news today:

In the news today:

1) Need to influence Philippines? Take a hostage.
I'm too amazed for words. In the wake of the Filipino hostage drama in Iraq, a once firm decision not to withdraw its troops has faltered and Arroyo orders the removal of 51 soldiers and police from the country. That the country actually succumbs to such terrorist demands, what more force do you need to influence their decision-making? Sorry for being sexist, but that's what you get when emotions govern a country.

2) Bush tries to justify war on Iraq
The more he tries to absolve his mistake, the more he looks like he's sweating and trying his hardest to get off the hook. "There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot".

"We removed a declared enemy of America, who had the capability of producing weapons of mass murder and could have passed that capability to terrorists bent on acquiring them," said Bush.

"In the world after September the 11th, that was a risk we could not afford to take," he said.

"America must remember the lessons of September the 11th. We must confront serious dangers before they fully materialize."

Keep in mind that America themselves have that capability to produce weapons of mass destruction as well. Keep in mind also that reports have indicated that 90% of oil from Iraq is bought by USA.

Commencement 2004

Commencement 2004

As of Thursday, I'll become a graduate of NUS. The ceremony on thurs is supposed to be the start of our careers, or, the point at which we leave our 'beloved' alma mater, and proceed on with the next portion of our lives. Since I officially completed my studies last year, I dun really feel like this ceremony is much of a big deal. Would it make a difference whether or not I got the certificate? Would it make a big difference whether or not I got to wear an oversized piece of faded purplish cloth and a 'mortarboard' on my head? Would it make a diff if I didn't get to throw the mortarboard into the air above?

I suppose its all just symbolism. Its a way for us to commemorate the end of a stage in our lives. A sort of 'last' celebratory opportunity, marking the end of too many years of education. I believe in continuing education, and that we've to continue learning new things everyday, or the brain will atrophy. So in a sense, we haven't actually ended our education, its just a different level of it, I suppose.. For instance, yes I've left sch for about a year already, I've worked as an account exec, I'm currently in the financial trading biz, and consulting for various fields. I've been exploring my options for the past year, and I find I'm still learning. ALL THE TIME. There's alwiz something to be gleaned. Can we say we're the most learned person arnd and need not noe anything more? no..

I've been saying that this ceremony would be more for my parents than anything. All I wanted out of a uni education was a degree anyway, just like most of us (I later learned its not all tht impt if u noe what u want). Wat I got, was a lot more than that. I've met ppl, I've done things, I've experienced new things, I've learned how to think even.. Heck, I totalled a car cos i was going back to nus chinese camp at 4am! Wat I am today, is cos of wat I've gone thru, and the path I took, was via NUS. If I'd gone to Australia, or pursued an alternative course, I'm sure I'd be different. But when u take a look back, and appreciate what u have cos of it, then u start to see where it all becomes worth it.

I'm grateful for all the following:
1) The people I noe call friends frm the grps below
2) Kendo (NUSKK/SKC)
3) Kuok Foundation House (& the RAs!)
4) InfoComm Mgt dept (ICM)
5) Catholic Students' Society (it was alwiz abt the ppl)

And of course there are subcategories for all these; each of them led me to smtg or other (ie. drinking games, salsa, etc). I really shall not elaborate..

So back to the topic, is all this celebration actually important? I'd say YES! of course it is! its to cap it all off, shout out a loud hurrah with your peers arnd - we're thankful for the opportunities!

Peril of Doc Ock

Peril of Doc Ock

Wow.. a comedic spidey stop-motion flick using Lego entirely. Fab!

the sweetest pair

the sweetest pair

I'm upset that I missed so many episodes of the O.C.. its a great show. I was just telling my sis how it all happened - when Marissa was just inexplicably attracted to Ryan, she kept meeting him somehow, or arranging to meet him. There was just something abt tht boy.. she had no idea what was in store, and look at them now.. *awww*

I'll Catch You
~The Get Up Kids

can you sleep as the sound hits your ears one at a time?
an unspoken balance here,
unabridged for so many years
that i should stare at receivers to receive her isn't fair
don't worry i'll catch you
don't ever worry
your arms in mine, anytime
i wouldn't trade anything
you're still my everything
to my surprise, before my eyes you arrive
don't worry I'll catch you
don't ever worry
i'm still breaking old habits; habits when you pulled the wool over me
i can see everything; remembering "jinx removing"
don't worry i'll catch you
don't ever worry
no need for reminding... you're still all that matters to me

Dead Man Walking

Dead Man Walking

I've been having problems with sleep for some years now - I fall asleep whenever something doesn't engage me on an indeterminate level (I really have no idea what it is!). It can happen almost anywhere, anytime, it may or may not have anything to do with sleeping few hours, cos I've done the other extreme before..
In any case, I've fallen asleep while reading, singing, having phone conversations, having face-to-face conversations, driving, eating, (and as I write this - while typing..) You name the situation/place, I've 'done' it. Every sunday, I would fall asleep as if on cue once the surmon commenced! Sleep and me.. I need some help man..

But the one thing that I would alwiz tell people that I can't fall asleep while doing is riding! Seriously.. with the wind in your face, the adrenaline tht pumps u up as you weave between open lanes, all this keeps me awake. But even that is no longer a sure thing..
I was waiting at the traffic light tonite, astride Il Mostro, for it to turn green.. Tonite I actually drifted.. when i realised I had drifted, I found I was refocusing my eyes to my fuel cap (about 45 degrees south of my previous eyepoint)! Sure it was only for abt 2 secs. But it was enuff to make me panic.. I slapped myself awake and raced home before anything untoward happened to my baby by my hand.
This goes to show that even the things you think you can be sure of may not hold water all the time. We can never be sure of anything..

"The Most Beautiful Things"

"The Most Beautiful Things"

~Jimmy Eat World

You say the most beautiful things,
an endless list of treasures of trimmings.
It takes all my faith just to start
I don't care now how much I'm wrong

my song it shames your ears
every sentence a failure.
Slant rhyme is all I can give
Half truth is all I'll get.

Show us all what grace can mean,
all of what I might be.
Close your eyes call it escape.
We'll run away from everything

Lie to me,
love me
We'll run away from everything.

Is there no one else!?

Is there no one else!?

I bet Saizou bet on Portugal.. hahaha..
Anyway, the celebrations in Greece would prolly harken back to the days when myths were made:

"The entire city, including the ancient Acropolis and other monuments, were draped in the glowing lights of fireworks, while canons under the city's Lycabetus hill fired celebratory shots."
Taken from here.

Marlon Brando dies at 80

Stolen from Mango's blog:


Dude @ Esplanade, high on air..

Marlon Brando dies at 80

I got a shock when I saw that headline.. read about it here. He's prolly one of the rare actors with such screen presence. I never caught any of his earlier films, but it was in the Godfather that I first caught sight of the name that everyone old talked abt when I was just a kid. He inspired James Dean! 'nuff said. Later on when I did American Film and had to watch Apocalypse in depth, and do readings about the script, film, actors.. he again stood out as the 'enlightened' enigmatic mumbling personality. Most recently, I caught The Score which had him in it.. It was a DVD and I had the chance to catch him doing an improv for a certain scene. Respect..

Considered by many to be the "Greatest actor of all time", Brando insisted he only made movies for the money. "Acting is an empty and useless profession," he said. Such strong words from one who inspired acting greats like De Niro and Depp.

the world outside has gone to shit. everything that matters is within. how hard issit to understand that? its quite simple really, but somehow hard to come to terms with.
So what issit that is within that matters? I dun really noe myself, I'm prolly contradicting myself, but its how I feel rite now. Would anyone noe? not really. Unless they read it here. Would they then care? I dun really give a shit. Que sera sera with both middle fingers.

Actually.. truth be told, i dun really noe how to care either. a double-edged sword? it sure ain't a katana.

*update*
Had 2 lousy dreams to cap it off:
1. I dreamt of a secondary sch buddy whom I've lost contact with since JC. Instead of an enthusiastic 'Hi, how've you been', I got a cold reception, and found out later that it wasn't that we simply lost contact, it was a conscious effort on his part. that hurt.
2. 2nd dream was about the sweetest gal, we've become friends now, and things are pretty good and nicely distant. The dream brought back some of the old days tho, and the vision with bad teeth was there again. And yes.. that hurt too.

What's going on man.. subconscious mind is taking over. its on a mission to make me question me.

Job Opportunity at M&C Saatchi - Urgent!

Job Opportunity at M&C Saatchi - Urgent!

I've got an opportunity for an opening at M&C Saatchi. Karen is consulting for them right now, and they are urgently looking for a male Account Executive.

You should have an approachable nature, be able to work well with people in general, be organised and pay particular attention to details. Most importantly, be able to achieve your deadlines!

If you would like to follow up on this opportunity, pls contact me ASAP and I will furnish you with further details.
Thanks!