"What price happiness?"

"What price happiness?"

~ Straits Times, World section, pg 13, 30 June 2004

"The argument is that if you want to be happy, there's a very simple thing you can do: compare yourself to people who are less well off than you - poorer, smaller house, car... what a lot of people do is quite the opposite... then always going to be well down"
~ Timothy Sharp, founder of the Happiness Institute in Australia

Let's try it.. =)

Can I say I'm disappointed? I'm disappointed in that the ideals we hold and are brought up to believe in do not really hold water amongst the very same ppl who taught it to us. I'm disappointed cos when we try to help, our help gets thrown back in our faces. I'm disappointed cos we can only do so much, and the rest is up to another mind to decide on. I'm disappointed cos there's so much out there, but not all of it is for us. I'm disappointed cos there is no such thing as Happy Ever After. I'm disappointed cos the truth really is out there, and its not as simple as you think. I'm disappointed cos of imbalance, jealousy and envy. I'm disappointed cos we can never see the good in front of us, and only the bad in others. I'm disappointed cos even if you work hard at smtg or go so far as to make a huge change, sometimes u just can't be as good as the next guy. I'm disappointed cos there may very well not be a heaven waiting for us.
Can you tell I'm disappointed?

an a cappella presentation by NUS Resonance

an a cappella presentation by NUS Resonance

I want to blog about the performance I was at this evening - NUS Resonance - an a cappella group. It was not at all wat I was expecting. It was quite an informal affair, with much audience interaction, bantering amongst the ensemble, and even antics! And of course, the fantastic beatbox/vocal percussion accompaniment, the casual introductions of their songs, and the great lighting!
It was not only an audio feast, it was visually fantastic as well! From the first song, they had the whole guys n gals in black, sitting on high stools, with silver caps! I was telling Weilee how at some sonic concerts, I sometimes just close my eyes and feel the different layers of music.. but for Resonance's performance, I found myself unable to keep them closed cos there was so much movement and the occasional hilarious action! I thoroughly enjoyed each and every piece that they chose to showcase.
The song that made the hair on my arms stand (which is a good thing!), was the 2nd encore song, lead by Joel. Gail was one of the supporting a cappella vocals. It was a great piece and sung as tho they've known it for the longest time cos it was the most confident one, i found. That one I could close my eyes to. And it was gorgeous.
I remember a couple of years ago when Gail asked me to try-out for Resonance, I totally refused then, for fear of public performances and the lack of time. As I watched them tonite, I kept thinking to myself that I could very well have been making music just like tht if I had obliged then. I'm not saying I can sing as well as these people, but if they found a niche for me (with my strange range), it would have been a great ride too. Singing has alwiz been something I did to release stress with ole' Justin - he would play his guitar, and I would sing along..
This made me think of my old choir, Regina Coeli.. comparisons were made, and accomplishments compared. I did enjoy the time with them, but I just kept thinking, had I been a part of something else like this a cappella group instead of with them, what else would be different? It got me to thinking if it were possible to start an a cappella section in the RCC, as in a real 5-6 piece one, not just sectionals.. but of course.. i wouldn't know how to! not to mention the lack of skill in arranging this! I alwiz had this inspiration, that we would somehow be doing public performances (not carolling), mebbe it wasn't to be in the RCC.. but elsewhere?
Anyway, am getting tired again, so I'll end my gushing here.. it truly was great. I was just damn sad cos so many other ppl could have come watch this.. but they chose not to. Its just a sad waste. I would've loved to be able to share the experience! Watch out for their next performance I suppose?

In other news..
Pressured into getting my act together. I'm up against way too much, and in order to get that edge, I really have to get with the program and jump back into real life for real. Somehow I'm still just sailing along.. not really putting the effort to make the boat move faster, just riding the winds..
I believe competition spurs me on, and I am now trying to put together some names and achievements for me to use as motivation.. ppl I noe who are of my age group and who are doing great commendable things - the great catches for the discerning young adult. I believe this will work out. Cut off all other distractions..

The implication of Mass Psychology - "Why is paper, with no intrinsic value, exchanged for something tangible? It is because of a shared psychology. Everyone believes it will be accepted, so it is. Once this shared psychology evaporates, when people stop believing in money, it becomes worthless."

This kinda ties in with previous post about culture and our imposed values..

Super Violent Animation

Super Violent Animation

Madness Combat 4: Apotheosis

Il Mostro is BACK!!

Il Mostro is BACK!!

Had a bit of problems still; the shop I got it repaired at wasn't big on details. So the night I picked my baby up, I ran out of petrol, walked to petrol station, bought jerry-can n petrol, walked back, attempted push-starting for a few times until I realised the tank was squashing a fuel line cos the filter wasn't replaced properly. Finally got it started up again.. but it was all worth it!
Il Mostro has a new tapered handlebar (gold), newly re-shaped fuel tank n paint job, and headlamp kit fitted nicely. I had to do a bit of adjustment to the position and angle of the handlebar which the shop bunged, and on top of that, found out the ERP unit is dead. It costs S$152 to replace it. As such, I'm out looking for a shop that is selling 2nd-hand ERP units taken off to-be scrapped bikes.
Anyway, I got back up since then, and I'm still enjoying the ride.. I really still love this bike so much.. This chinese old man asked me today wat the difference was between the Italian machine and any other Honda. I told him.. its the feeling..!

Updates

Updates

• The Dude's Commencement has been confirmed!!
  15 July 2004 - 3pm, seat W18.
  Can't wait to dress in pink..


• Dive at Tioman (updated): may be going on the 3rd weekend of July for about S$280. Interested parties, let me noe soon! (rem the beautiful pics of sand, sea and rocks?)
  

*Perfecto*

*Perfecto*

In a world where everyone noes your name, can say 'how are u' and listen to your reply. Where the people who matter to you always have time for you. A place where everything you do helps someone and gets fully appreciated. Where no one annoys you, and everyone adores you. Where you'll never have to fret about your fears, jealousies or insecurities; they become mere afterthoughts. Everyone you look at looks back at you with a smile, and you can see the sparkle in their eyes, not a lack of expression. Where you are never alone, and only so when u want to be. Where you can do what pleases you most, and get help with it when needed. Where you can take a break whenever you want, without having to worry abt priorities. Where time is a control panel in your hands.


Actually, there is heaven on earth. There's gotta be a way to get around to doing what you want to. Just gotta take a step back and see what's holding you back. Sometimes you'll see that it very well could be you holding yourself back. Somehow, you just feel so stupid after realising it.


Looking forward to : The Great Capri Caper

Average Joe

Average Joe

I only caught the last ep of this show - which was crap.. all the lame 'i din wanna hurt him', 'i had a great time', etcetc.. but the next instalment looks damn good. Hawaii with a Revenge of the Nerds theme.. Starting next week on Channel i.
So.. i guess the average joe doesn't really triumph does he? Adam (a wall street trader or smtg) in series 1 lost out to a cute young student of some kind (what my mom said). Kinda sad la.. but then again.. their 2nd series' average joes all look like nerds.. not a fair comparison i say. lalala.

In the event of a motor accident:

In the event of a motor accident:

1) Take down all particulars of other involved party (vehicle number, license, IC number, contacts, insurance company, company contact, etc)
2) Take pictures where possible (of damage, scene of accident)
3) Demand written statement from involved parties (driver, witnesses if any)
4) Make arrangements for vehicle to be taken to any IDAC centre for independent assesment (where you will have to submit a report of the circumstances), followed by a shift to an approved workshop

If police present,
5) make arrangements to get a copy of any statement taken down by presiding officer
6) name, rank and any relevant info of officer

If admitted to hospital, whether for assesment or warded,
7) do not deny MC
8) make police report where possible after MC is given (ensure that circumstances do not conflict with report made at IDAC. If no MC is given, it would probably be a good idea to make a report anyway even tho the Police are incompetent, cos it makes things official)
9) notify your own motor insurance company

If you have a strong case, proceed to make a claim with your workshop against other party's insurance company (please check if the workshop will do paperwork on your behalf, and if so, that you receive copies of whatever documents are submitted)
10) follow up on any action to be taken or action already taken.


It just pisses me off that I am made to accept all responsibility and have the blame placed on me, have repair charges filed against me (that I am a bad rider!?) all because I was hit by a van that was clearly in the wrong, but had a witness who supports the story (no one cares if he's telling a tainted version!). No one cares that the driver just had another accident about a month before that, no one cares that he was totally unsure as to where he even was following the accident despite it being ME that was hit.
I hate that fucking kapo malay uncle who was such an 'upstanding' witness. I hate that he thinks he was so right. I hate that he had to take a second look to see whether the van really was in what he thought was the 2nd lane after I told him that the van really was in the 3rd. I hate people who think they know something but can be proven wrong. I hate that I have no way to prove the fucker wrong. I hate that I cut him just before that making him think I'm a reckless punk rider.
I believe I have a strong sense of justice, and in this case, there is something very wrong, and I can't swallow it at all. I just can't. Yet I have to swallow this injustice and allow them to hammer me with whatever shit they want, just cos they have a self-righteous bastard of a witness.

Justice is not god-given; justice is presented to the one who can best manipulate the resources at his disposal to give the desired result.

You heard it here first!

You heard it here first!

There I was, clicking Check Mail every few minutes, like checking stock quotes, waiting for an all important mail to arrive, when I got a message from Yahoo!:

Great news – Yahoo! Mail is new and improved!

Thanks for being a loyal Yahoo! Mail user. To ensure that Yahoo! Mail continues to be the easiest, most enjoyable way for you to stay in touch, we've made several great improvements to your service! In addition to all the features you currently enjoy, we've made these upgrades:

Streamlined interface
Makes using your mail even easier
100MB of email storage
Keep more of the things that are important to you – without worrying about bumping up against your storage limit.
Message size up to 10MB
Send monster-sized files – photos, presentations, whatever!
So thanks again for choosing Yahoo! Mail to keep in touch, and we hope you enjoy the additional services now at your fingertips. For more information, please visit our Help page.


It seems Yahoo! may be finally be succumbing to competition and admitting that they DO have competition. Perhaps in a bid to destabilize Google's upcoming IPO, they're introducing these changes in response. Maybe Google's searchable unlimited email offering - Gmail - has given them a reason to stay on their toes as well.

Prior to this, Yahoo! cleverly made the space taken up by the thrash and bulk mail folders independent of the Inbox storage space, which was a great improvement already. Why should we have to continuously organize our Inbox when we're getting spam that is probably proliferated by Yahoo! itself? Thus the improvement perhaps..

From Yahoo!'s Help Page:
What is the "Search Mail" button? The Search Mail feature enables you to search for messages stored in your account without having to sift through them one-by-one
Sound somewhat familiar? Gmail's 1GB mailbox flaunts its web-renowned search capability for use in sifting thru one's emails!

In any case, us Yahoo! mail users in the office of Samanea let out a big YAHOO when we heard of the news. =)

even more rantings (is there a pattern?)

even more rantings (is there a pattern?)

People get attached. We can delve into a whole slew of excuses why this happens, but I shan't. I'm more interested in what goes on after that. We all believe in some semblance of fidelity - that we're faithful to one person (in some instances - a few ppl). Have you ever wondered why? Is it that the heart can only love one person (again, in a few instances - a few)? Or is it cos its been inculcated into us, our very culture, to love one (be it from the bible or any mystical reasons for couplehood that we tend to inherently believe that Man & Wife is the defacto?

cou·ple (from www.dictionary.com)
1. Two items of the same kind; a pair.
2. Something that joins or connects two things together; a link.
3. (used with a sing. or pl. verb)
1. Two people united, as by betrothal or marriage.
2. Two people together.
4. Informal. A few; several: a couple of days.
5. Physics. A pair of forces of equal magnitude acting in parallel but opposite directions, capable of causing rotation but not translation.

Of the 5, only 1 of the above meanings implies something other than a pair, and tht is an informal slang.
What am I getting at? Nothing really. I was actually more interested in why we're so intent on having that other person whom we can call 'the other half'. Its up there in the top 3 wishes on every person's wishlist, along with money and happiness. We do such crazy things to get attached, then we do even crazier things in order to save the oft-jeopardized relationship.

While in church today, I was looking out for ppl my age. Most of them had a significant other beside them. Bringing a significant other to church does signify a significance. *casual pause* And yet I noe these 30-smtgs who are still single and enjoying life. They're not interested in getting attached, or can't find so dun bother abt it.. and of course those who are smilingly bonded. Is it at all possible to go thru life without someone beside u? seems it isn't so. there must be smtg wrong with you if that's the case. Upon realising a certain fren of mine was unattached for a while, a quick question that follows usually revolves around "What's wrong with her?".. This implies the norm of society - and by not fitting in the norm, u are different and 'wrong'.

The problem with couplehood is that its exclusive. Anyone else additional just seems like calais faire. I'm too much into getting bit parts. I'm really getting sick of it. To do smtg about it - I really dun think so. Somehow there's still too much inertia. I like to blame it on priorities, but tht's just my excuse. So is there a gloom-doom couplehood future for me? I like to think there is. I just gotta settle some stuff first. Meanwhile, all interested parties - pls fill in application forms and attach a pic.

random rants repeated

random rants repeated

Is it wrong for me to have different priorities? Is it wrong for me to prefer doing something that may seem antisocial? Is it wrong that I may have a preference over doing one thing than another?
Of late, I've been feeling rather unsure about my choices. People around me may be involved in something that I may deem as unprofitable (not just monetarily), and I would rather spread my time over doing other things that matter to me, or my future.
Then perhaps other people have gone through this and its only taken me so long, and perhaps in future, these other ppl will experience this prioritizing process too. And by then, I will be on the other side of the river?
What does maturity have to do with growing old? There are those who are successful, who are serious, and yet can be totally irresponsible when out of the work context. Then there are those who are 'older' and wiser, and they will chide the us for being irresponsible based on the previous example! So if the way is not socially accepted on the whole, but would prove to yield rewards later on, would you be able to take the aggravation until then?
I have little respect for stupid people. These are people who may have the way spelled out for them but prefer to choose to see the individual lettering than the message as a whole. Am I judging them by my standards? Who's to say the people smarter than me are not sneering at me as we speak?
Just some issues floating around in my semi-sleepy state. Yes, I'm still sleep-deprived for some reason - stupid me not been able to resolve the state of my involuntary-cerebellum-paralysis. Good night.

Rant rant rant

Rant rant rant

whee.. I finally got finality from tht insurance claim I made for my baby. Yes - Il Mostro has been sitting in a shop for close to 3 months, collecting dust. I was nudged into taking things into my own hands, and 2 days later, NTUC came back on the answer. Of course it was rejected cos of the bloody blind witness! shitty asshole who only saw me cutting him and assumed I was the one in the wrong. He din even see the fucker who cut me from the THIRD lane. For all I noe, when he took the driver aside to see what happened, he negotiated a deal with him so he'll say anything to make the driver look good. Damn.
I took the insurance option because I knew the driver was in the wrong. In a court of law, if I had my witness and any other evidence that could prove that, I would be the victor. Being the one who got sideswiped, did they expect me to find a witness, take photographs and proper statements while in my traumatized state? I have nothing except my inability to lie!
A lesson to learn from all this. I have learnt my lesson. I'm ready for the next one if ever.

these old bones

these old bones

I've been feeling tired for the last couple of weeks. For some reason, sleeping at 2am and waking at 730am is no longer sufficient. I even have 1/2 hour naps after lunch. yet I'm still tired. Perhaps I am growing beyond my physical capacity! ie. I'm finally gaining weight and expanding my shruken frame.
I conducted Monday's training with the absence of Kato sensei. I basically just let the seniors practise motodachi from what I learned on Saturday's special class with Takeuchi sensei. Simple enough. Until I realise how disorganized I was in my explanations.
It was a good thing Rueylin sempai was there to provide good examples. Despite all this, I'm still recovering from Monday. It was draining even for me. I just hope the juniors were able to benefit from it. As Bryan expressed, there was concern for the 'correctness' of the cuts and all because there is a trade-off (in my opinion) in terms of technique with the emphasis on speed.
In any case, I'm off to rest my old bones. Rest is something I can't seem to get enough off.

Bye bye birdy

Bye bye birdy

With that, she's gone. Three weeks came and went in a flash. This friend who meant so much to me during my JC/NS days swept fleetingly in and out of Singapore yet again. I hope all goes well for Alicia at home in Brissie, altho I noe nothing can ever go disastrously wrong in her capable hands.

"Kendo Grain" - a photographic narrative

"Kendo Grain" - a photographic narrative

Check out Genshi's new series of images entirely on Kendo. I love the quality and composition of some of the shots. These are examples of how single images can tell such great stories. These shots were taken at what I believe to be a Kendo tournament at UMKC.
Alternatively, click here to go to my fotopages for the pilfered pics.
Matsuri Grain by Genshi.

I spent the best years of my life giving to God, and now I'm trying to regain those lost years.
Alicia, who knew me back JC, made a statement describing me now. I dun recall ever being religious enuff to warrant an impression of holiness to anyone! I dunno whether she came up with that in comparison with her being the worldly-wiser one then or whether there was any comparison at all. I sincerely can't think of any reason why such an impression could even be formed! I dun think I was any kind of angel!
=| Religion is never an easy topic to talk about. As such, I have censored further thoughts on this.

Can you feel?

Can you feel?

This is the best Japanese band I know. First heard on the FLCL anime (I'll declare that its one of my fave animes as well, and all cos its accompanied by such a fabulous soundtrack!), I started digging up more songs from imesh. There were so many songs by them! Initially, I classified them as a lo-fi guitar-jangly kinda band, but after sampling a few more tracks, I realise how diverse their sound is. The above classification definitely cannot contain them. Here's Hybrid Rainbow, a very good example of the kind of music the Pillows churn out.
They've been around for quite a while, and even until now, I've not heard all their songs yet (the ones I downloaded recently), cos I've been satisfied with the first 22! haha..
Check out these fan sites for more information. If you're keen, I would gladly burn u a copy of their mp3s.

• A great site for info


• Pillows english fan site


• FLCL Production site

"Blankets" - a story of first love

"Blankets" - a story of first love

"We both knew that nothing existed for us outside of the moment"

I read a graphic novel today entitled Blankets, by Craig Thompson. Its a two-fold story about first love and family. The story is held together by a motif I can only describe as Christian belief.

"... a rarity: a first-love story so well remembered and honest that it reminds you what falling in love feels like. ... achingly beautiful." -- Time Magazine

You know the feeling of discovering love for the first time, and u think back fondly on it occasionally. I alwiz tot my experience was unique and almost laughable in some instances. But when I read Blankets, I realise how there are so many of us out there who prolly can share similar experiences. Of the aching, of the exclusivity, of the importance, of the hiding, of the oneness. Thru the pages of the graphic novel, I was skillfully transported back to a plane of feeling, serving as a reminder of a past that was almost forgotten.

Despite the differences in culture, in the setting, and the details, there run many similarities in every relationship (or perhaps every first or dare I even say true love?). I read the book, and felt like falling in love again.. to embark on a journey, to learn more about that special person, to share the problems ahead, and to have that special companionship thru it all. Its that nice warm feeling I get from watching romantic comedies. To imagine a love. To feel it. To live it. To be blinded by a total infatuation from all the errors of the world - that feeling of bliss that wipes away your pain, and makes all problems seem small and conquerable. In the book, Thompson parallels this to the blanketing of the world with the year's first snowfall. Escapism.



But like all great loves, reality will soon set in with the melting of snow, and soon, the landscape changes revealing the inevitable indelibilities. "Nothing fits anymore". And of course, the age-old query - to ask why.

I sincerely recommend this book if you're ever able to lay your hands on it. Its groundbreaking in a sense cos its a story that is centred around an emotional experience, rather than being action-packed. Being a hefty 582 page graphic novel, and available in Kinokuniya, I wasn't surprised to find out it retails for about S$60. Lucky me, my cousin lent it to me. =)

• Praise for 'Blankets'


• Craig Thompson's website - more previews!

An Insight into Inner Mongolia - frm Karen Yeo

An Insight into Inner Mongolia - frm Karen Yeo

A mail I received from ex-boss Karen of Kazworks! following her return from Inner Mongolia. She paints an interesting picture of the place!

-----
Dear friends!

I'm back! :-) It was a great trip to Inner Mongolia! I thought I was going to die with all that lamb (since I didn't even eat lamb in Singapore...) but I survived! Had lamb every day for almost the entire month i was there! So much for thinking I was going to starve and loose weight (the perfect diet plan!) but I gained weight instead with the
rich diet of lamb kebabs and fresh yogurt! Yum...

It was an amazing trip and tough at times since my travel partner Justin and i were sick. We took turns to pass our flu bug to each other and there were days we just stayed in bed to recuperate - and we sure ate! Our conclusion was lamb is the cure for all things evil!
*grin*

I must say Inner Mongolia or Xin Jiang where we were, is highly recommended! Although the amenities were pretty basic, I had a great time! ...the toilets were another story but it sure tested your courage and tolerance for sight and scent mutation! Think about a hole in the floor, dung piled up, swatting flies on your ass - Oh, did I forget to mention the army that went before you?! Eww...

The Heavenly Lake 'Tian Chi' was where we enjoyed snow-capped mountains and pines. The lake was breath-taking and mystical with a legend of stories of goddesses and dragons. We stayed there for 2 nights to wake up to the fresh mountain air. Be nice to us and we'll tell you where the best toilet of that area is!

The desert was simply magical. The sand dunes went on and on and on... I gave up climbing! We were like small dots on a huge golden brown canvas. Made me wonder how this was all created. It was beautiful. We braved the sandstorm in the night to find ourselves covered with sand in our tent (we were still finding sand in our hair days after!)!
Eating sand was part of the package. But the star-filled sky was unbelievable and it made all that sand-eating well worth it. We woke at 5 am to find the sky dotted with stars in the midst of the sand dunes! There must be a higher power that has cleverly choreographed for this to be possible.

It was quite weird to hear some of the Urghurs speak Mandarin. They didn't look Chinese at all - they had very interesting features due to their Turkish influence. Green eyes. Blue eyes. Sent many questions about history, race, culture and simply about people through my head. What we are, what we look like, where we came from, where we are born, our community, our friends, our lives - were these random chance or planned?

Here are some teaser shots from my trip! Take a break from work and experience the world! You only have now once!


The Desert Sunset


The Sand Mountains along Karakoram Highway, the Ancient Silk Road


Butts out! At the sunday local stock market for farmers


Typical bread shop - freshly baked on the day by a stone oven.. yum... (our staple)


Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed sharing it with you!

Karen

Aur - 1 yr ago

Aur - 1 yr ago

Just some pics I edited for fun cos Genshi seemed interested. Hope the rest of you find this appealing. =)