Advice for the insecure - HELL YEA!

World Premiere of Perth
- a local film set entirely in Singapore about a taxi-driver with grandiose plans and a complex, conceived and directed by a Los Angeles dweller, and named after a state in Australia.

Together with Weilee n Mango, we went to watch the world-premiere of the newest local movie to hit the screens - PERTH. We were all rushing to get there on time, Weilee was late, and Juyi msg'd that she was at the theatre venue already! And when the opening speech by Djinn, the director, commenced, I was all but filled with anticipation! I was part of this movie from the filming to the PR work with Kazworks! - I had to be there when it all came together, rite?

The lights darkened in the theatre (Prince 1 of Shaw Tower), the adverts rolled, and soon enuff:- Working Man Films presents - PERTH... opened to a haunting tune and the sounds of someone being beaten... repeatedly... ooh.... The movie started off pretty dark and the life of Harry Lee began unfolding for the audience.. it was all interesting enuff.. then the screen went dead and the auxiliary lights came on.. WTF?? within seconds, the film resumed, the lights dimmed again.. but then.. everything but the lights died again.. how can this be!~? WORLD PREMIERE?? geez.. the film carried on and an emcee later explained after the lights came on yet again for the umpteenth time that it was a power trip caused by recent disaster involving a highway collapsing nearby. A likely story! these professional places and their bullshit.. wat a letdown! I felt sorry for Djinn. This was his baby.. from being on the set, and witnessing the sweat and love that went into the production, I just felt how they prolly were feeling.

The whole gloominess of the beginning, the mood that was being set in the start was broken apart and torn asunder. From then on, I just kept anticipating when the next power trip was gonna occur.. and tht sorta spoilt the whole movie for me.

Despite it all, I did like the cinematography.. I loved the way they used a blue hue over most of the scenes of the present. that and the reds from the altar lamps that were part of the Taoist Judge-deity (guan1 gong1?) motif that was constantly repeated. Blues and reds - kinda like the flashing lights from a cop car.. but it was a nice effect. As Mango would say - it was a dark movie. There was one shot that I really loved - a warped downward shot of a HDB stairwell with a cross-cutting of Harry climbing it. To me, it was just beautiful, and it shouted out - "you are sooo going down, Harry boy!", an indication of things to come.

The film had many monologues and diatribes about the state of society, from a taxi-driver's (stereotyped of course, but inspired by the many cab-rides taken by Djinn) point of view. It was not a nice show. Having a no holds barred R rating, the movie slighted everyone from "four-eyed assholes" (our myopic youth) to "fucking fako" (meaning the 'bananas' - yellow on outside, white on inside) to foreigners visiting Singapore, and even "scholar" (the new wave of scholar-officers in the army) became a bad word.. The only respectable ppl were the underground bosses, the taxi-drivers with attitude and Angry Boy Lee! Everyone else was the enemy.

Hokkien was used mainly as a comedic element. I felt the most entertaining moment of the show was not a scene featuring Lim Kay Tong, but Sunny Pang (an unknown before this movie, hailing from a martial arts background, and perfect for the role of a pimp, Angry Boy Lee). When he answered a call on his mobile phone (the ring tone caused the forest to erupt in gunfire) in the middle of an army exercise, he screamed into the forest for everyone to "CEASEFIRE!!" just so he could hear Harry speak on the other end.. hilarious! And playing on the fantasies of the everyman in NS - socking the officer who told him off!

I felt that Perth had way too many slow moments (it might have worked perhaps if not for those unplanned interruptions in the earlier part of the film, perhaps if Juyi got me free tix for a possible second screening!?), and the post-production seemed quite rushed. I'm sure they could have done better somehow. Sad to say, its not a movie that I would say was well put-together. Djinn had so many good ideas - they just couldn't bring all of it on screen.


Ok, now here's where I ham it up: my name appeared not once, but TWICE in the film's credits!! haha!! and there I was telling Mango that if we even got a mention, it would just be under "extras" and we'd merely be one of the anonymous names.. before I knew it.. Dax Quah flew by! That's me as the 'Wedding Usher'.. and tht's my name again as 'Clubber'! woohoo! So cool! My life's mission is accomplished, I can now die in peace. As I told ppl after my first brush with acting - when watching the movie, dun blink.. you'll miss me. and true enuff! The wedding scene was on, it was all looking familiar.. I turned to Mango telling her to get ready and just as I turned back, I saw me vanishing off the screen.. the infamous grey blur! damn... I din even recognize which take they used.. dun think i looked good as a stuntman tho..
Next - at En Lounge.. Harry Lee is yumm yumm yumm seng-ing the ppl around his booth, and there behind him in the next booth.. is Mango engulfed in a halo of light! So unfair, her seating position allowed her head to be featured prominently for about 5 expensive film seconds! Yea, I was the black blob somewhere diagonally left and down, and in came Weilee from the right.. And finally, in the shot just after Harry slashes AB Lee, we have Karen sashaying across the white floor in her tiny black dress uttering the line - "Mai hiao leh!" (dun be vain). She had a speaking part!! I think it was Juyi running around the corner a split-second later; I think it was her hair on tht running dress! haha

hehe.. our few seconds of fame! Yup.. that's wat we were there for! to be able to scream - "Hey!! That's us!!!"

Competition - Vote for me!!
Ok, you see.. we went to the Science Centre to see the LOTR exhibition, and ended up with some free time. So what we did was tour the SFX exhibition next to it when this guy came and talked us into signing up for this contest.. possibility of winning mp3 players and an eventual trip to NZ. why not rite? afterall, my skin quite thick la..
All we need now.. is for YOU to vote. the more votes garnered, the higher the chance of winning SOMETHING.
Just click on THIS link for the week 16-22 Apr, go to "vote", click on "TOP TEN" and check out the video entitled "Sinking Feeling" or.. if its not there anymore.. well.. go look for it and VOTE for IT! Get your momma, your dadda, your nanna, your cat, your dog, etc to VOTE NOW! and I'll show u wat I win, if I win.. haha

*Disclaimer* I am not an actor (apart from being an extra in Perth), and this was my first trip outta the house post-op, so dun blame me if I had bad-hair!

Thanks for the votes! We're up there at top 10 so far!

Do you Mozilla?
I did some research into network security issues today and the end result was that I really wanted to STOP using Internet Explorer! Desperate as I was, I tried Opera on a recommendation but found tht it was sorely lacking.. and thks to Prit - I've found life in the form of an open-source browser - Mozilla Firefox!

I'll let you read the raves and you decide. What I love abt it? The tabbing factor, the instant opening of 3 of my oft-loaded websites upon launching, the pop-up-blocker, less threat from viruses, the cute themes and the extensions - I have Google on my launchbar!
- Why you should use Mozilla Firefox
- Nifty things you can do with Mozilla Firefox. 9 articles filled with tips!
- Download Mozilla Firefox here.

Is friendship transient? Is it merely a comfortable arrangement between ppl that can simply be thrown away when its use value expires, simply substituted if the outcome was undesirable? Afterall, you can meet ppl so easily, but how much value would you place in those relationships?
If its something that you just did cos circumstance demanded it, then sure, its easy to let go. But if its something that you worked hard at, and got something out of it that you'll easily recall when you've time for recollection, then mebbe, just mebbe.. its not just a run of the mill "acquaintanceship".. if you let it go now, will you look back next time and lament at a loss? Or would you just murmur a 'good riddance' and try to erase the memory?
Making frens and losing frens. While some things just come as naturally as breathing, other things just get stuck to your mind and its so hard to rip it out.
I'm just glad that in this short "ordeal" that I put myself thru, I had so many frens who shone thru and told me that they were there for me, or expressed that I meant something to them, whether it was in words, in writing or in action. Thank you for this. I will *smile* my new smile for you! =)

QFC n "GF" @ Latin Fest '04.
Aww.. ain't tht a nicely composed self-taken pic? (other than the overexposure, the background was naturally blurred!)
Latin Fest - raucous event, fun. Can you beat dancing on grass and under the blanket of sequinned clouds? The concept sounds nice dun it? In reality - dancing surface of astroturf was slippery; clouds meant no air-con; it was an open-air sweat orgy disguised as a musical smorgasbord! Still, it was a blast! I got to sample a Peruvian national spirit called Pisco (some irony in its christening perhaps? really made me think twice if I shld even try it!), which the stall-vendors made into a nice strong cocktail tht tasted somewhat like a sweet margarita. Too bad we had to leave with 4hrs left to go.
Mango did all the arrangements but was great that I had friends sms to ask if I was in attendance! Shout out to Jeanine and Cynthia, whom I was unable to chat with much cos of the rubbers in my mouth. I wasn't abt to compete with the great bands on stage!


*update* - excerpt frm MaNgO's blog which I've been waiting for (can alwiz count on her to give a narrative description!):

Streats Latin Fest

Things livened up abt 8 pm, after the sun went down. This 13-piece percussion band called Wicked Aura, headed by an APSN teacher, created a storm wif its high energy music. The crowd in front of the stage was heaving like a mosh pit at a rock concert.

As the rhythm got infused into our blood wif the next act, a Japanese salsa band, Dude and I went down to the front of the stage to sweat it out with the crowd. The 3 females in the band, not looking like typical coy Japanese ladies at all, did a 5-min fusion of traditional Japanese fan-dance, salsa moves and erm, weight-lifting poses. Which were hilarious, seeing as to how 2 of them looked like butches and the other had an Afro.

If you woke up one day and your girlfriend was now Miss Universe or perhaps a Tiger Beer lady (the kind guys wanna take pics with, not the one who gets commission when u buy beer from her!), would she be any different to you? We're talking abt the same person u noe and like/love (watever), she's no different, well, mebbe she's more into looking good, or noes how to pour a good mug of beer, but she's still that same person. The thing is, now, her status may have been elevated in the eyes of the layman. She may be more desirable or more famous, or simple, everyone wants to screw her. Just because others' perception of her may have changed, would she be any different to you?
You could relate it to the oft-mentioned philosophical question - if a tree falls down in the middle of the forest, but no one hears it - does it make a noise? Or this one that I just heard of and 2x in a day - what is the sound made when there's only one hand clapping? (or smtg to tht effect..)
Its like a fool sitting on a goldmine of an artefact which he feels is of little value, until ppl come knocking on his door asking abt it, and then he starts to look at it differently. Would he then be a fool or a really lucky guy?

Oh shit.. and with my love for expensive toys, I parted with some hard-earned $$ today for this..
I actually saw it before it was bought over by Hasbro. That was on the 2ndRule.com.. someone, not sure if it was a marketing gimmick or wat, put up a series of pics of the original STiKFAS figures doing several poses. I remember going - "wow, tht's so poseable!", tot it was a customised piece for some reason, and tht you can't find it in Singapore unless u dig really hard. I never really was the type to have to work so hard for smtg. haha.. speaks volumes! Anyway, here it is in all its glory - sitting on my table right now.. waiting for me to come up with the time to put it together.. =)
Went to the Toy Con with the intention of "purchasing a dragon" or mebbe some nice exclusive Spawn figures.. left it empty-handed. The afternoon was definitely a toy-shopping day with Prit - we went to all the major shops on the Orchard stretch, finally settling on the Stikfas "Dragon with Beta Female Rider". It will join the Samurai Stikfas action figure I got from the KFH hall ppl last year. Got Prit's birthday pressie, the "Omega Knight with Stallion". The idiot got all of us to get him Stikfas, and got the dragon too! grr.. how nice - a knight fighting a dragon..
To Ryozan - I finally have my dragon! Not exactly wat I wanted, but I suppose this will tide me over till I have more hard-earned money to but a display case and fill it with exotic stuff! I guess I do have a passion for some things afterall..

Running with Scissors - Blueprint (2nd ep)

Why do all beautiful beaches in TVland have beaches that are called Heaven's Mouth? It must be lack of imagination on the part of scriptwriter - Amos Tan (I think it was his name)! I love local indie-sounding music (altho the music in this episode was not indie, it sounded it) which this short story had. I also loved the hi-contrast, pastel-effect colours that they used - Telecine smtg.. if that is it.. video post-production and not lens work rite? If only Genshi saw this and could tell me what they used. As with the other Blueprint stories, this was filmed on a Panasonic Digital Videocamera, and this alwiz makes me feel as tho I could do something like dat as well, with a good script and a cast. In fact, I did think abt it before. Just never materialised - alwiz caught up with something else or other.

Anyway, I dunno how come this episode just made me feel really sad. In Y Tu Mama Tambien, similar to Running with Scissors, some frens go on a road trip of discovery. They find what they're looking for, and somehow become disillusioned with what they have. This includes giving up what they treasured for the past few years, including close frenships. We dun see ourselves being cut off from frens, and we dun actually choose to severe ties with them. Yet there are stories like this which make us think abt our version of reality, and how we actually may just be looking thru a skewed looking glass. There's much more to be understood abt the world around us and things that happen and our relationships. What we noe is only a small part of the big mysteries of the universe. Pray we all be happy with it.

Toy Convention @ Orchard Parade Hotel! - 24th April
I'll be there at 11am! I dun think there'll be cheap stuff there, but hey.. there mite be something really worth it to get! Check it out!

Something I received in the mail. Come on.. surely the Japanese cannot be so obscure? They're the ones who gave meaning to the word "HENTAI"!

I love expensive toys. These to be added to my list to be accumulated over the next 25 years.. On the left is a Toshiro Mifune action figure! haha..

and on the right is not really an expensive toy, just something I bought TODAY at Isetan! Its a further development of the Stikfas action figures like the one Prit and fellow KFH ppl got me last year. And its beautiful!

Just a short piece of "fanfic" that I've written based on the game by Rockstar Games called Vice City. "In Vice City, you can be anybody". Prolly inspired by Elmore Leonard novels which I thoroughly enjoy and reworked with a little help from Pahlaniuk (well, Pahlaniuk would noe how to get blood stains off leather shoes!). Just for your reading entertainment. No other point to it.

Aftermath

A cigarette never tasted better than after a bloodbath.. the sweet scent of tobacco replaces the acrid smell of gunpowder in your nostrils.. feeling the blood in your mouth slowly encrusting the small cylindrical filter between your lips. One long draw and you can feel the smog quickly swirling thru your windpipe making its way down to fill your lungs. It relaxes, it calms. Exhaling is akin to chasing away the demons in your head. Just let it out like a long slow sigh. All the carnage in the world can suddenly disappear as the smoke engulfs your soul temporarily.

I feel good. A problem's been solved yet again. Diaz and his thugs all lie dead on the floor. Some at odd angles, some on their faces, some clutching each other. I check my uzi and shove it into the back of my pants as I look around to see if there are any birdies that need to have their wings clipped. Little Havana looks pretty quiet in the aftermath. Good, I was running outta ammo. Looks like I won't need to salvage any from the bodies. Don't wanna get my custom-made pinstripe suit from Cuffs & Collars dirty. Not that it'd matter. I was already covered in blood. I wonder if the dry-cleaners can take this shit off. Hmm.. I could always get that shitty law-school graduate schmuck Ken Rosenburg to get me a new one. That's what he's there for anyways, lousy piece a shit.

I kick Diaz's fat bloated face in one more time, just for the satisfaction. Mistake, something must've caved in and I wind up with more blood on my imported Italian leather shoes. Damn. The fat shit still gets me even when he's filled with lead. I gingerly wipe my shoes on what looks like the cleanest bit of hairy pimply skin that isn't riddled with holes or bloody. This pair was a gift, mebbe Ken knows where to get one just like this. Guess I gotta learn when to stop, especially when they can no longer breathe. I see the pool of blood around his stinking carcass grow larger and take a step away from it.
-No Tommy, I'll give you anything you want, don?t kill me!
-I'll have anything I want after you're dead and gone Diaz. No one can save your fat hairy ass now.
Can't believe he expected me to work for him after taking my stash, after killing my posse? Fat chance Diaz. Fat as your hairy ass chance.

There's only one more problem to deal with. Then I can go see how my money's doing in that flick with Candy in it. Lance Vance.. he's more trouble than a help nowadays, little whiny bugger. Why can't he just have a piece of the pie and be happy with that.. gotta go around being a whiny pussface and asking for a bigger cut of the action. I'm the one who gets the job done around here anyway, why should he be asking for more? Says he's gonna meet me on the Washington strip. Wanna talk it out he says. For his sake, I hope tht's all he's gonna do. Aw hell.. I'll just grab a couple a clips off Diaz's fat carcass. I hate looking for another piece during a firefight.

Mebbe I could get some clean clothes first. Jack a kaufman cab, have a little fun with some fares on the way over, do that chat with Lance and then its off for some grade A piece a ass acting. Oh yea, before I forget.. Need a light Diaz? Burn baby burn..

How I feel abt The Passion
its essentially just a subtle manipulation of emotions - a movie to be used as a "how to make the audience cry" for future directors. a guilt trip perhaps.

Zatoichi -"an all-out entertainment movie"
Zatoichi is a movie. It isn't a film. The title character, played by director Takeshi Kitano, is a blind swordsman with a penchant for heroics. He is unflinching in his delivery of death to anything he deems a threat and looks incredible with his dyed blonde hair (I'd rather he was given white hair).

Zatoichi's character is based on a Japanese drama series from the 60's to late 80s about a blind masseuse/gambler who is also a master swordsman. Apparently most Japanese over the age of 30 know this. This important fleshing out of Zatoichi's character, despite the movie being an international release, is neglected. It left me expecting that more will be told about him, but I his wandering habits are all there is to tell in the end. This is about the only gripe I have about this movie.

Zatoichi is basically a story about 2 Geishas, their family were murdered 10 years ago, who are out to exact vengeance on their aggressors. Along the way, the blind masseuse, a ronin hired out as a bodyguard and his wife, an unlucky gambler and his farmer aunt, some rival gangs and the entire township get involved. Essentially a samurai tale (of good vs. evil), it is a modern rendition of the old black & white samurai movies that I used to watch avidly (Samurai, Yojimbo, Sanjuro, Rashomon, et al), involving slicing, dicing, maiming and fountains of blood! With the use of digital animation, we can now see swords going through bodies, cuts appearing on bodies and blood spurting unnaturally!

The sword-wielding is definitely more authentic than seen in Kill Bill Vol.1 (that's cos they used real Japanese stuntmen and actors skilled in the use of a katana, instead of cheap chinese actors!). I appreciate the beauty of the form and fluidity of the cuts seen in this movie. No cruising gaijin can simply imitate this in under 8 mths (even with intense tutelage!). Despite fighting blind and directing at the same time, Kitano implies his character's skills so well that even though the audience is unable to see the actual action at times, I can only mouth a silent "wow" as I watch the bodies fall. Brilliant choreography!

The fights scenes involving Tadanobu Asano (previously seen in Gohatto), as Hattori the bodyguard, are precise and awesome. His portrayal of a respected samurai, even though masterless, is spot-on and convincing. His character's unwavering loyalty to his bond, despite his lack of concern as to which side he's on, is admirable, something one can only expect from a Samurai.

My favourite battle scene is the bokuto battle between a young Hattori and an actor who reminds me so much of the late Toshiro Mifune (the moustachioed samurai actor, most famous as the wannabe-samurai in Seven Samurai). The slow-motion shots of a sadistically-smiling man beating up Hattori with a wooden sword would probably be one of the most remembered scenes of the year for me.

Interesting insertions to the old samurai tales are The Stripes, a tap-dancing troupe that appear in certain scenes involving farmers making music ala STOMP!. They set the tone for portions of the movie and appear in the finale as well.. you know, the part where farmers start happily planting seeds again?

Takeshi Kitano, an auteur he is not, but an entertainer, definitely. Zatoichi is a great movie with many interesting elements thrown in. It was surprising for me, coming from a background of old 50's Samurai movies, but these were fresh jack-in-the-boxes and they certainly added a different twist to my feeling of nostalgia. If you were inspired by The Last Samurai and need to satiate that thirst for more, then I do suggest you watch Zatoichi!

Let's see Kill Bill Vol.2 beat this!

Jesus Christ Action Figure! sent in by the Prit.

Birthday Surprise
me grateful to Mango, Pritpal, Mike n Squeaks. Nice ppl! so nice. =)
Met up with Prit and Mango for the purpose of going for the LOTR Movie Exhibition, and ended up receiving pressies from them, on behalf of Weilee, Jem & Alice.
Mike n Squeaks got a bunch of the kendo guys to meet up for the purpose of celebrating our birthdays.. and the best part - Wenz, Alvins (Ong n Lim), CH, Squeaks, Wengkie & Ryozan all chipped in to get both of us some really interesting stuff.
I'm really at a loss for words. I'm never one to hype up my birthday. I alwiz feel damn bad that ppl go thru so much trouble etc.. So the whole pre-birthday stuff was really one heck of a surprise.

What was also interesting was that this would prolly be one of the rare birthdays I've had that I was not pressurized by exams and nonsense as insignificant as that.. One of the reasons why I alwiz wanted to keep it low profile I suppose. And I didn't have any nitemares this year. I usually have one of those realisation dreams during this time. Mebbe I'm in a happy zone this time round. Or could be perhaps the mind isn't really working at this time too, getting too embroiled in Vice City. haha.. Well, mind-numbness should not prevail too long, or mental atrophy will follow.

"How do you measure Love?"
"By the hole it leaves behind.."
"The day she left, she left a crater in my heart."

I'm smitten by this girl Carla Dunareanu. No, I'm not turning paedophile or anything.. just was awe-struck seeing her both times. First time was in this Kids Central episode of Champions (which btw I never ever watched before, just one of those one-off things that happen when channel surfing and bored..), second of course - today's Princess Moon, ep1 of Blueprint2.

I dunno if it was a bad thing- missing the entire first series of short-stories: the first series of Blueprint - I heard it was good, and then there was the Singapore Short Story Project which i missed as well.. This is because when I look up google for anything related to blueprint/singapore/etc, only the Mediacorp site appeared. Its amazing that this series is based on award-winning scripts but no mention is given to the authors on the mediacorp site at all. Not to mention, the sypnoses were badly written too.. one can tell that there was much enthusiasm over writing the 1st 2 blurbs, then the enthusiasm faded with the subsequent 3 from 3-4 whole paragraphs to 3-4 lines. Its sad that so little effort is put into crediting the authors.
You will be able to see the difference when u look at movie sypnoses and independent movies. Much pride is put into every effort because it is a project that the entire team usually believes in. I suppose again, this can be attributed to the failings of a government-aided company..
Look out in comparison for the movie Perth. I was privileged to see the behind-the-scenes involved in marketing this movie (not to mention infront-&-behind-the-camera too!).

This brings back memories.. Its a spoof of Prime's death scene from Transformers: The Movie. One of my fave shows when i was a kid. still have the mouldy video around somewhere..

And CHECK THIS OUT!! The Singhsons! and the Badmash comics are pretty cool too.

Another addictive online game - Tower Blaster!

How fast am I?
I have mutant healing/regenerative abilities - as Ryozan said. Even Gail says I'm recovering at a comparatively faster rate!

Anyway, I'll be rejoining the working world once again. Going to commit myself to Samanea! Its a learning process once again. I'll be picking up the skills on - HOW TO MAKE MONEY! haha.. my favourite skill actually. So yea, won't let in too much on this as yet, we'll talk more on this over a cuppa tea or plate of hokkien mee when I'm more settled down here.
Of course, my webskills will be at work here and once the public site is done, you'll find out here at juneandtheocean of course.

Current alternative titles that I've been considering for my next namecard:
Profit-maker/ Profiteer
The Grapes of Growth
Money-Maker
The People's Champion
I suppose all the above will only apply when I make it. hmm.. rite now, I'll just stick to Junior Market Analyst or Trainee Trader then eventually moving on to trader/speculator/investor. But its alrite to dream rite? =)

Only a measly 4%


create your own visited countries map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Which means I've abt 96% more to see!! or is that seawater?
And the Google Hacks are interesting.. shows a lot of potential, if only they'd direct it at smtg useful! see wat the internet can do for u.

Hannibal's Update 2:
After 1.5 weeks of not eating anything but liquids, I finally had my first taste of semi-solid food today - Minced porridge mix. Went to the orthodontist who removed the rubberbands and washed out my mouth for me. He instead used only 2 bands, and taught my how to put on and remove them on my own. So henceforth, I can eat.. so long as I ensure that I keep my mouth/teeth clean and replace the damn bands after that.. Ohyea!
Imagine the sheer joy.. my tummy did rolls as the first few teaspoons of cold porridge went down. I wasn't really raving hungry before I began, but following those first swallows.. the gastric juices started working overtime! My tummy was going nuts - almost like having gastric, but it was continuous and was an almost pleasant feeling.. Second bowl I made warm, and it went down beautifully.. and likewise for the third bowl of sheer joy. I kept thinking of Gail's warning - tht I mite puke during my first meal cos the tummy had not had anything solid to work on for a while, and mite reject the food, but after an hour, its still fine!
Also, its getting easier to smile. I tried smiling small petite smiles, ooh. I can't wait to show off! haha

So, I'm eating soft foods, albeit messily; I'm brushing my teeth; and I can manage a small smile- I'm HAPPY!
I'll still be wearing the wafer for abt another month, and that will continue to impair my speech (on top of the rubber bands of course), but I'll be venturing out of doors occasionally from now on.. I dun look half bad! The bands is going to be on for a long period of time more to come. The ortho said abt 1 mth after the wafer comes out or more. indefinite.. But that's not too bad. That said, I'll prolly progress frm just swallowing to some biting/grinding now, and on to soft foods proper after the wafer comes out. I think it mite be at least 1 month more before I go back to Kendo, and another month after that before I start speaking... hmmm... just some rough estimates. And prolly only in June will I be able to go anywhere overseas.

Comparison 1
Here are before and after shots of Dax. The before shot is of one of those crazy expressions he alwiz makes when taking pics in public. This expression was a new and unseen one by him. Only released here on juneandtheocean. Unfortunately, these are expressions you'll no longer be able to see in the flesh, despite being the ones u all noe and love.
The after pic is a slightly doctored one, to give u a clearer picture of the aftermath. In this shot, he can actually clench his teeth together as compared to the reality where he has a piece of metal wafer in between (yes, a wafer which he cannot bite thru or eat. terrible..).

Before
After
In the after shot, take note that Dax looks cruel and calculating only because he is still as yet unable to smile for the camera, not because he doesn't want to, but more cos of the simple fact that smiling hurts. Other than this, he is in no pain at all whatsoever. Trust me, in a couple of weeks, he'll re-enter his camera-beetch phase yet again. Be forewarned.

Two Blunt Quotes

isn't beer the holy libation of sincerity? the potion that dispels all hypocrisy, any charade of fine manners? the drink that does nothing worse than incite its fans to urinate in all innocence, to gain weight in all frankness?
~Milan Kundera, Ignorance

This is my fish number six hundred and forty-one in a lifetime of goldfish. My parents bought me the first one to teach me about loving and caring for another living breathing creature of God. Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I know is everything you love will die. This first time you meet that someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground.
Twenty chapters on: It's crazy, but you invest all your emotion in just this one tiny goldfish, even after six hundred and forty goldfish, and you can't just let the little thing starve to death.
~Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor


I am happy! By great sheer coincidence, mom managed to borrow a Chuck Palahniuk book from the AMK library. Thank god for her students. Sis returned from Paris, and its been a great one day since then. She nicely borrowed a couple of movies I've yet to watch for me.
My days are set - on top of the movies from VideoEZY and Survivor, I'm also juggling The Definitive Guide to Astronomy (from Chris), Ignorance (from Celeste), latest ish of Newman (from CH), Season 1&2 of The Simpson's (from Prit), and other assorted gifts from the nice n beautiful ppl who've visited thus far! I'm actually busier than I was when working. Now if someone will pay me for doing this, I'm set for life! Thanks loads!

Special mention must go to Shuyin for bringing Walnut Cream from the Carlton for me. I only managed to taste a little bit of it unfortunately. It was too thick then to go between my teeth. Anyway, since yesterday, I've sworn off consuming anything other than Ensure liquids thanks to warnings from Gail and Prit abt infections, trapped food and the like.. Ok.. I only heeded those warnings AFTER my breath became more rancid than I could stand from what I believed was rotting food trapped in the manacles that are my rubberbanded teeth.

I was reading this morn, and I took a nap. The nap lasted abt over an hour, during which I had the most vivid dream ever.. and I rem it.. crazy as this sounds- it was entitled The Most Amazing Elephant Adventure.
I dun usu dream, and when I do, I will hardly even rem it. This time, I woke up and put all tht I rem down on paper. it came up to just over one A4 page on Word.
I think I'm going nuts.

*Update - 8 Apr 04*
On dreams, i woke up twice last nite cos I dreamt that I somehow used my hopefully already-atrophied jaw muscles to pull apart the bands holding them together, and in the process, the new tissue as well!

Hannibal Lector's Update:
Muz mention tht I've made progress! this morning, I drank half a glass, instead of syringe-feeding self. My lower lip still is numb and devoid of feeling. As such, I have to stick my lips arnd the edge of the glass (manually stick it to the glass for my lower lip) and let the fluids slowly seep between my teeth.. its less troublesome, and less messy too (ok, it was messy when I was trying it out cos I din realise i had water coming out from the lower lip till i could feel it dripping).
And Sari (my maid) gave me banana-flavoured Ensure today! It was a welcome variety from the regular strawberry and recently re-introduced chocolate flavour! Shiok..
Weighed self, have lost 4 kgs. am looking like shit too. sigh.. have to go work hard again when i can.. sian.

How do we begin to covet? We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't your eyes move over things u want?

hmm... guess its not tht strange when I start fantasising abt food, being on a pure liquid diet for the past 6 days. I realised that I prolly woulda kept myself awake tonite just talking abt food.. imagining it, and wat it looks like, wat it tastes like.. and where n when to eat it..
I AM HUNGRY.
This is how I foresee the binge plan working out. U see, its a two-step process. First we start with the soft foods, whereby the rubber bands come off, and I can consume more than just liquid between the gaps of my teeth. Then we move on to the harder foods, where the orthodontist can assure me that I can eat semi solid foodstuffs, including chewing and grinding. So..

Soft Foods
1) Hokkien Mee at Serangoon North with Mike - aka Kel's place. Cos there's pretty decent hokkien mee there. u noe how it is with hokkien mee - sometimes wat u get is the dry kind, thick yellow noodles, and very little gravy, if any at all. not at all the pride of my forefathers! This stall at Kel's place is not the best, but it's decent enuff to tide my cravings for hokkien mee thus far. Since i can almost see the place frm my room, it has provided me the greatest temptation. not a day goes by without me thinking abt hokkien mee at least 2x.. I shall hit this first!

2) This excellent noodle place at Duxton that sells only 1 kind of noodles, and abt 3 types of dumplings, and a chinese pizza! ALL GOOD! I never really figured out wat its called, since everytime we went there, we just ate.. discovered it during my time in Kazworks! - Kaz n Rob brought me here 2x. The second time was for my farewell lunch.. and we ordered everything they had on the wall (one of those menus stuck to the wall).. I love - the white noodles with the minced meat and shredded veg and gravy.. just mix it, and tuck in. Supported with the dumplings and chinese pizza (dumpling stuffing in a pie) and tiger beer. everything's just PERFECT!

3) Potato meal: potato salad + mash potatoes + potato in a jacket + chips + potato soup! oh man... the very sight of Ryozan's nick "Meiji Potato" conjured up images of a bake/boiled potato sliced in the middle, filled with sour cream or cheese and topped off with deliciously pungent baco bits.. it was THIS that started the reason for the post - my cravings, my desires. I knew I was somewhat a foodie, but its only when u're totally cut off that u start appreciating even simple things like a spud! Ryozan will fill in the details with potato salad and instant mash i believe. Any other takers?

4) a simple dish like pork chok.. pork porridge with egg n liver.. mm.. thick porridge with tht wonderfully eggy taste I love! The biggest bowl I've seen is at Maxwell Road market, altho I won't say tht tastes the best. I'd hit the one at my market, but tht stall's been closed for a while, so currently I've no fave for this either.. again, recommendations will be taken seriously. =)

Hard Foods
Ok, i haven't really tot much abt this category yet.. i guess it'll slowly worm its way in when i'm done with stage 1. I dun usu eat too much "hard foods" anyway, since i've previously had a problem with biting. I guess u mite consider Delifrance's Baguettes a hard food. I'd usu have those with good ole' Justin when he's arnd - our late nite supper walk when i'm over at his place. delish! yes..

1) Delifrance Chicken Baguette without salt at Esso, AMK Ave 5
This tasty thing comes in a half foot long baguette sliced in the middle, fitted with a piece of green and filled to the brim with their wonderful chicken mix. pepper n salt to taste and cut it down the middle. Voila! a nite snack tht costs $4. ergh.. of course J and I will try the interesting variety they have on occasion, certain specials etc.. the cream puffs and curry puffs from Polar also damn good.. argh.. too bad the dude won't be back till end of the year.

2) Ribs.. I've never really enjoyed ribs before, this due to the fact that u usu have to pick the meat off the bones with your teeth.. I would like to go somewhere with good ribs. Ppl who noe - pls shoot off your mouth here (Tony Roma's? Or Jerry's at Jln Kayu??)

3) speaking of Jln Kayu - the Chicken Murtabak less bawang pls!! & Fong Seng's Cheese combo prata! Ooh, they used to have damn nice tender chunks of chicken in the $5 murtabak here. Who cares wat curry it comes with, the chicken already has curry in it. Eat it alone, or share it with a fren, its huge. But its GREAT! As for the cheese prata - only Niqqi's does it like that.. with mushrooms, tomatoes and other good stuff in it. It can get quite overwhelming for such a small thing, and definitely pricey, but u can have it in just cheese prata or mushroom or combo prata.. with a drink for under $10! and it'll all taste damn shiok anyway! Hey, I brought some japanese dudes here, and I think this would prolly rank as one of the best meals they had here!

4) and since we're at Fong Seng, I will head arnd the corner for the Duck Noodles at Duckie's! There, the braised duck comes with either rice or noodles, but the dry gravied noodles without chilli variety really hits the spot for me! Of course, the tasty morsels of meat won't be as good without a good view of Duckie herself! This pretty young thing has long been the object of speculation, aka gossip, between me n dear ole' Joanna - who is she? How does she keep herself looking so good whilst working in a dowdy place like this? Don't the uni guys hit on her? Is that her merc? etc etc..

Well, food is by no means to be eaten alone. Food alwiz tastes better with good company. So you're welcome to join in the binge! I'll let u noe when..

Guts - a chapter from Chuck Palahniuk's as yet unpublished book. Take heed of the warnings. Not for the faint-hearted.

Peeling my face off the carpet I want to crawl to a sink, but all I can do is sit there, staring at my vomit, seeing what God saw as he looked at his creation on the sixth day, the way a man looks in the toilet after every shit he takes.

~taken from Untitled, by Ughsassin

I just like the phrase.

Tyler Durden is indeed everything u want to be.. "I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I’m smart, capable, and most importantly, I’m free in all the ways you wish you could be."
I love his clothes.. 5 yrs on and it still inspires.

An interesting viewpoint - Tyler Durden is Hobbes frm Calvin n Hobbes.

Fight Club, based on a book by Chuck Palahniuk - a possible study of religion? I am more for it as a statement about capitalism and materialism.. and bipolar personalities.. still a good movie!

I have begun to drool uncontrollably. dammit. and the funky smells tht keep wafting abt.. are they frm within? hope it dun leak out man.. God help this sad soul!

I've come to realise I'm like a whale.. whales use their teeth to sieve out plankton from seawater, I have teeth which sieves out good food and leaves just the damn seawater.. *SIGH*

tis gonna take some getting used to..
Courtesy of Alvin Lim and his pocket pc. btw, i squinted, so there's nothing wrong with the eye.. just me trying to wink at Alvin.

This was taken on on a Thursday morning, 2 days after the operation.. swelling's subsided somewhat, but there's still lots of it at the lower mandibular area. Mouth is unable to close, lower lip is entirely devoid of feeling and both lower n upper do not have any semblance of control watsoever.

Current state of discomfort - there is no pain, just waiting for the swelling to subside and for the new tissue to bond nicely. Biggest fear I have is that the whole extension separates from the joint and I'm left with smtg hanging and useless *sounds fishy*.
Anyway, my mouth is unable to close, and i am down to syringe-feeding myself liquids ENTIRELY. most of the time its a mess, and i look like a baby, needing a bib. This is cos the fluids can only go in thru the gaps in my teeth.. great.. and i've been craving everything I smell for the last 3 days! Even fish.. and I usu detest fish.. but somehow, fried fish of any kind, with any kind of garlic or watsoever pungent garnishing is just making my taste buds go WILD.

So yes.. i think i look like a hood, a frog, Beast from Beauty and the Beast, etc.. won't u come visit me and let me noe for real then. And.. how much getting used to is this gonna take??

Everytime I look at the mirror now, I do a double take, then I touch my face. is that really me? It took me so long to recognise me in the mirror when I wake up in the mornings. now, I dun even noe if its the real me I'm looking at. its so strange.. for better or for worse.. the deed is done. let life carry on from here. =)